The Man Box

The Man Box

Marije's picture


Liner Notes: 

I came across this research paper about the man box ( and got intrigued. The man box shows "seven pillars of what real men should be".

These seven pillars apparently are:
1. self-sufficient
2. acting tough
3. physically attractive
4. rigid masculine gender roles
5. heterosexual and homophobic
6. hypersexual
7. aggressive and controlling

I read guys find it hard to not fit into these pillars without a little encouragement, so in this lyric I am trying to give that bit of encouragement. If you've got any feedback or suggestions, please let me know.


what’s the deal with self-sufficiency
all of us need help sometime
we’re on this planet for a reason
working together shouldn’t be a crime

acting tough isn’t necessary
it’s okay to let go of your mask
talking things through is a solution
although not always an easy task

physical attractiveness is in the beholders eye
you can’t be everybody’s cup of tea
as long as you're kind to your surroundings
you’re already attractive to me

rigid masculine gender roles are such a bore
who says it isn’t cool to cook and clean
don’t worry, I don’t really care about your career
you’re a guy, not a money machine

everybody identifying as a male
is a real men in my book
doesn’t matter if you’re straight, gay or bi
or how "feminine" you look

hypersexuality shouldn’t be a compliment
it’s okay to turn down a request
the amount of bed partners doesn’t matter
it’s about the experience, not a test

aggression and control are dangerous things
your fists aren’t needed to get respect
the saying ‘man up’ is toxic and poisonous
crying as a guy doesn’t make you bad

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


phoenixash's picture

I agree with every single point you make, men are very harmed by the patriarchy, nice words, nice write.

“I need a cowboy baby”, “where have all the cowboys gone” — it’s a marketing analysis paper regardless how they framed it, imo. For me, rather than counter point summarize it, I’d consider singing/writing -for- pro guy but either skew. You like a gentle hand and attentative nature — certainly manly; but maybe not a “cowboy” — nothing wrong with it.

The “problem” I see are, very confused, just teens where the girls are all phuch you and the horse you ride in on and boys frustrated because they are going to “react” first — Viva la difference ... imo.

As the whole sexual movement shows, one does not choose maleness, they just are, some “more” than others.

I had a “little girl” recently whole sale disrespect me, she got a dose of maleness, fully out of the box Wink

So, I get the direction of the song, but it’s like a summary more than, “looking for a slow hand” Smile ?

You want that hand attached to breasts — that’s fine, we all sleep alone anyway.

I see allot of really good writing otherwise!!

You comment you are open to feedback, otherwise would have only commented the good writing part Smile

I’ve written many songs about all the “bad” women in my life Wink — but, those were different times (favorite songs too). I miss them all fondly, and glad for the wife I got.

Ferry Colyer's picture

Hey Marije, ik ben het eens met wat je zegt. Ik denk alleen wel dat er verschil tussen mannenrollen en vrouwenrollen mag blijven bestaan. Dat geldt in ieder geval in mijn beleving voor punt 1 t/m 4, waarin de vorm met de inhoud contrasteert in goede zin, zoiets als 'grote mond, klein hartje'. Als dat sense maakt :S

kahlo2013's picture

Fantastic lyrics and wonderful important message. I love the direction you took this and the pointed lines that drive the compelling message home. Love this line:
“as long as you're kind to your surroundings
you’re already attractive to me”
How I wish this was a sentiment shared by all - the world would be a better place...