Stephen Wordsmith's picture


Liner Notes: 

I wrote another song, so you can all stop complaining.

It's more self-deprecating shower philosophy, so you can all commence complaining again.


I have never used a pen from start to finish
I've not once stood facing backwards on the stairs
I have never put away a summer outfit
Merely wrapped it in a coat when winter nears

I have never seen a vampire through a telescope
Or praised the haircut of an uncle passed
I have never ever counted to a thousand
Though I'm confident I could, could I be arsed

I have never seen a fireman save a kitty
Nor seen the smile of one who got the cream
And though I spend my waking hours upon it
I've not once used my computer in a dream

I have never heard the door-knock of an atheist
Or found the God of nations at my feet
I've never licked my brush for washing dishes
Though I rub it on the plates from whence I eat

I've never seen a sign be read in braille
I've not stepped in the same dry river twice
I'll never find the drug that fixes cancer
In humankind alone, but not in mice

I'll never write the hit that tops the forty
Or be the greatest thing since who-knows when
And now you've reached this little song's conclusion
You'll likely never play this one again

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


metalfoot's picture


Fun Smile

I like this sort of self-deprecating humour.

the pannacotta army's picture

The wait?... that'll be that "difficult second song" syndrome

I'm calling "bags" on this for a collab before I've even finished reading so mits off everyone else Wink

cindyrella's picture

How fun and original! I hope to hear this and I hope you write more!

Klaus's picture

We don't complain. We like it. Especially the lines about licking the brush and whole lotta others. And the humor and wit are so nicely done.