Hello Dysphoria

Hello Dysphoria

AlyssaPascal's picture



Liner Notes: 

after a few days of writer’s block, a small thing that happened to me today inspired me to write this song.
as a trans woman relatively early in her transition, i still look like a man to most people, leading most people to just automatically assume I’m a man, no matter what I do, and no matter what I wear. people automatically call me by masculine pronouns (ie “he,” “sir,” “mister,” etc) and I’m just too timid to correct them. even when I wear a dress and makeup, people still tend to just see me as “a man in a dress,” rather than a woman. I know i shouldnt let little things like this get to me, but they add up. it’s extremely emotionally and mentally exhausting to be called by the wrong gender constantly, even if it’s unintentional. sometimes I just want to scream to the world “I’m a woman, goddammit!”


A woman on the street
Flagged me down asked me
to recommend somewhere to drink
She said I seemed like a hip guy
And my words they seemed to fail me
I choked out “I’m not a guy”
And I hurried up the street
Wrapped in my defeat

Cause I’m so tired of
being called a man,
everywhere I go
of course I know she didn’t know
but it’s wearing me right down to the bone.
when I wear a dress, what do people see?
they still see a man. nobody sees me

and when I’m in a store
and the cashier calls me “sir”
i want to say “it’s ma’am”
but I don’t want to make a scene.
so i keep my head down
as I collect my change
mutter a soft “thank you”
and get out of that place

people see what they will see
no matter what I do
I guess I look just like a man,
and no one has a clue.
I was meant to be a woman,
that’s just who I am.
but I was born into this body
that makes me look just like a man

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


ductapeguy's picture

That is powerful, Raw, intimate, and truthful. Through your song I see YOU. My son is a trans man and for his 18th birthday he released an EP with a lot of the same emotions and themes revolving around transitioning. Keep it up: both songwriting, and blossoming into your true self.

billwhite51's picture

nice melody and guitar playing. the simplicity and repititions draw me , not only into the story, but into the feeling of the same thing happening to you on a regular basis. Im a straught guy who had similar encounters with people in my young adulthood because of my long hair, was consustantly asked if was a girl or a boy. once, while selling balloons and popcorn in a parade, i was chased by a gang of children who chant was taken up by the sidewalk crowds. id love to hear more songs like this, personal songs that address real issues in social relationshops.

auldy's picture

loved the chord progression over and around the "but it’s wearing me right down to the bone." lines

a touching song Alyssa

Robyn Mackenzie's picture

Powerful lyrics, and your vocal delivery is touching and sincere. Your strumming gets stronger during the last verse which instills a sense of strength when you sing "I was meant to be a woman, that's just who I am." Then it grows softer again for the last lines to reflect the sadness in the lyrics. There's a vulnerability here that is extremely powerful.