I'm Not Proud

I'm Not Proud

Powerstars's picture

Tags: 

Demo: 

Liner Notes: 

This is an interesting one! I started with the riff and was making a calm song with a drifting vocal when I decided: no, this needed to be a banger. I started singing a few other vocal melodies from songs that I thought fit over it and started working something out on piano to mimic them. Then I arranged in it spectacular 2000s ballad fashion. Lyrically, this deals with an old relationship of mine in which nothing was really wrong, no one was at fault, but I came to realize that I didn't feel a meaningful connection with the other person and that they were far more interested in me than I was in them. So, it's about kind of having to be the bad guy and ruin this perfect thing all because you're just not into it.

I usually reference one or two or three songs or artists when I make a song but there were like seven individual songs that I drew some kind of inspiration from with this one and they are as follows

mxmtoon - Dream Of You (same/similar chord progression)
James Blunt - You're Beautiful (verse melody was a direct result of trying to copy this song)
Simple Plan - Welcome To My Life (similar chord progression and inspiration in the chorus melody)
M2M - Pretty Boy (sang this over the riff and drew inspiration from how the melody changes)
Weezer - Peace (the acoustic guitar paired with the riff is very much like this song)
Tegan and Sara - Where Does The Good Go (the chorus has a bit of a similar melody and feel to this)
The Regrettes - I Dare You (the use of synth bass as well as the pattern it plays in the verse is directly inspired by this)

Lyrics: 

Verse 1:
I'm done with all of this
So baby, here it is
An acknowledgement that I was all wrong

Don't wanna spell it out
But my brain has made it loud
To be honest, I should've known all along

Cause I'm no good, I've never been
I should've stayed alone instead
I wasn't ready and I never am

I'll knock your dreams into the dirt
I'll paralyze my own self worth
Whatever happens, we'll both end up hurt

Chorus:
You know you shouldn't stick around
To see this out, to see this out
It's my fault that you're in the ground
And I'm not proud, and I'm not proud

Verse 2:
Believe me cause I've tried
The tear stain never dries
Again, I've made myself the bad guy

I'll get back to keeping score
More broken than before
And I'll promise I won't do this anymore

Oh look, I've done that thing again
Where I'm at fault, but I feel like the victim
I see all of your patience wearing thin

I start these things without a thought
You're into this and suddenly I'm not
Goddammit, I'm never happy with what I've got

Chorus:
You know you shouldn't stick around
To see this out, to see this out
It's my fault that you're in the ground
And I'm not proud, and I'm not proud

I think it's better if I go
If I just throw this awful show
I must be better off alone
I didn't know I'd go this low



Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.

Comments

auldy's picture

on top of the inspirations listed above, I felt a bit of a Chesire Cat era Blink182 vibe. Whack this song next to Carousel ya dig? Enjoyed the verses, but sometimes the inflection on each ending word was a bit over the top for my tastes. Loved the anchoring guitar line throughout, and rhymes like "Where I'm at fault, but I feel like the victim - I see all of your patience wearing thin" rocked my world. New russian

coolparadiso's picture

Well whatever inspired you, keep doing it, i really love this one. I caught up and listened to 30 today and this is as good as any.

billwhite51's picture

this us a splendid alternative to power pop love ballads. its funny, honest, and sad.

AndyGetch's picture

Cool sounds and the breakup lyric takes a real twist to my ear with the chorus line "It's my fault that you're in the ground".

MarkG's picture

Catchy tune. Breakups can be tough, but I get the feeling maybe both characters are better off in the end.

Kurtis Kanttila's picture

A list of influences for the specific song...that's a cool idea. and to take little bits from a bunch of songs to come together makes for something cool like this! Really great vocals on here, lots of different inflections in the verse. a cool bassline to drive the track and yes that 2000's Rock Ballad feel. You bring some aggression to this track like your previous one also. Good job!