Never Really Gone

Never Really Gone

wacha's picture



Liner Notes: 

I was a little stumped on what to do for the introduction song. I could have gone in a lot of directions but ended up kind of writing about my day. I do dialysis over night which is almost as fun as you'd imagine. I literally just wrote about a day, but kind of liked that it could double as some sort of addiction or other issue.

So I guess this is me, once again working through of my shit regarding being in kidney failure, it could also pertain to quarantine or any other situation you feel stuck in. The first verse is me getting up for the day, breaking down the machine and taking my other medications. The second verse is me keeping track of what I to make sure my body chemistry stays close to okay and the twice daily taking of my weight, blood pressure and temperature. The third verse is me being beyond exhausted at the end of the day and the machine beeping and waking me up during the night and in the morning. The chorus is really me just feeling like I'm on an almost pointless hamster wheel.

I struggled a little more than I'd like to admit on the parts other than the guitar and vocals. I used a capo which broke my brain a little when I then tried to add the other parts (thanks internet for the handy dandy chart so I could figure out what chords I was playing) my brain froze and I kept transposing ti all wrong.

This has:
Acoustic Guitar
Bass (my electric dropped and octave)
Midi Vilola
Sampled hi hat

At first I thought this was going to be a throw away song but now that I've worked on it for a half a day I am kind of in love with it. Though I may need to rework the chords progression, it' pretty similar to another, ,older song of mine,


Capo 1 (all chords relative to the capo)
Verse: G am C D
Chorus: am D

I get up
Start my day
Put my pills
Clean up
From the
Night before
And I'm
For more

Oh and every day
Feels exactly the same
What to do
And why lay blame
Just keep
Holding on
Hope is never
Really gone

Mind the
Keep them
In check
So you can
Know the
Toe the
Things will be
With time

Oh and every day
Feels exactly the same
What to do
And why lay blame
Just keep
Holding on
Hope is never
Really gone

Night is falling
The bed
Is calling
It's sleep that I
Long for
All this noise
Keeps me
What I
Wouldn't give
For a Break

Oh and every day
Feels exactly the same
What to do
And why lay blame
Just keep
Holding on
Hope is never
Really gone

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


katpiercemusic's picture

Beautiful! I know so many folks with chronic pain. I like the space in the lyrics... like pause for thought. Your vocal performance is absolutely lovely... clear and expressive. The instrumental work is good too.

kahlo2013's picture

Ah Catherine, I really love this - it is so deeply personal and heartfelt and honest feeling. It is really moving. Your vocals are absolutely incredible on this as is the gentleness of your guitar and instrumentation. The addition of the viola line tugs at the heart. I love the way you beautifully describe both the challenges and the hope. Thank you for sharing this incredible song!

cindyrella's picture

So raw and real. Wonderfully conveyed and performed!

nancyrost's picture

Beautiful sound, soulful vocal, gets the feelings across really well. Those added instruments were great choices -- the midi viola works surprisingly well! I like the direction this took you.

Do you have a link to that transposition chart, by chance? Sounds like a useful tool!

unpronounceable's picture

I really like the vibrato on the midi viola. I really appreciate the vulnerability in this song and your performance. I feel like in my own head, I get used to storytelling about. a specific moment or experience, and this really displays multiple days and the moments that repeat that add up to your experience. Thank you so much for sharing. You've got a lovely voice.

cts's picture

Absolutely beautiful. I don't think I could expound anymore than what everyone else has commented. It certainly is cathartic for me. Great, great listen.

metalfoot's picture

Yeah. That is life with a chronic condition. Can 100% relate with the chorus (though to be fair my chronic disease is nothing compared to this).

crisp1's picture

You found the perfect music to tell your story, Catherine. Very moving. I would change the title to make it Hope Is Never Really Gone. I know it's longer but it encapsulates the message you're telling yourself amid the struggles. This is a keeper.

IA's picture

Excellent vocals and the bass and guitar complement the voice perfectly.

Beautiful that "hope is never really gone"

Good job!

dzd's picture

Hmmm, really love this! Glad you didn't trash it. I think you've nailed a wide range of sentiments/desperate depressing experiences, in the music and lyrically, but its uplifting at the same time........some due to the strings progression, but mostly due to the outro lines in chorus and verse......"hope is never really gone"
great write!

Candle's picture

As someone who has lived with Juvenile Arthritis all my life (I'm in my 40's), I can really relate to this song. It has a mournful feel, but there's a determination that seems to underlie it all. Again, a great mix & wonderful performance. I quite enjoyed this one.

See You In The Shadows…

Jessica Szturmann's picture

This is so wonderful. I can hear a really strong person in the song, with a passion for music, a great musical ear and a big heart!

Roddy's picture

A very moving, wise and well written song and an excellent performance. The chorus is very strong. The lyrics are extremely touching, very concise and focussed. You get your message across really well.