Once Upon A Time (It should've been me)

Once Upon A Time (It should've been me)

ChariotBaldwin's picture
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Liner Notes: 

When I went to a songwriting retreat earlier this year, I happened to observe the organiser, blow his wife a kiss.
She was across the room, going home, and his face just lit up as he saw her, blew her a kiss and a gave he a wee wave.
Even when she left, his face didn't drop (as if he was acting); he just had a moment of refection to himself, as if to say - I'm a lucky guy.

So I took that moment and wrote from the position I was sitting in the room
Pretending that he might've been the guy I married, if I had said yes to him years ago.
But instead, he marries someone else (clearly more suited for him) and I (my character) sees that moment and wishes she had it too, cos the guy she married (even though she doesn't mention him in the song) clearly doesn't do those little things for her.

Then as the song wrote itself, I had to be true to my sexuality (rather than pretending) so I put in the gender pronouns so it could be relatable for anyone reading these lyrics. It's not perfect, but I think it has a lot of potential and the chorus probably needs more work too. IE the could, would, should's etc

Lyrics: 

Once upon a time (It should’ve been me)
© Christine M Kerr
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 2019

V
I see the way you look at her
I see the way you look at her
When she leaves the room
No-one else exists for you

I see the way you kiss her
I see the way you kiss her
So softly as if you don’t wanna say goodbye

CH
Once upon a time, that could’ve been me
Once upon a time, that would’ve been me
Another time, another place, now I must accept my fate
Once upon a time, that should’ve been me

V
I see the way you give her flowers
I see the way you give her flowers
Like a shy schoolgirl/boy, on her/his first date
And she doesn’t hesitate

To hold your hand, for all the world to see
I know that’s what you wanted from me
But I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t do it

CH
Once upon a time, that could’ve been me
Once upon a time, that would’ve been me
Another time, another place, now I must accept my fate
Once upon a time, that should’ve been me

B
Back then I knew you were special
Back then, I should’ve been brave
But I left on you on your own
The best love I’ve ever known

CH
Once upon a time, that could’ve been me
Once upon a time, that would’ve been me
Another time, another place, now I must accept my fate
Once upon a time, that should’ve been me



Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.

Comments

metalfoot's picture

Yes, I think you've caught the note of regret well in this lyric. The broken happy ending motif is a great one for lyrics, I think.

kahlo2013's picture

You nailed the sentiment and there is a lot of strength in the structure with the repetitive lines at the start of stanzas. The chorus is strong. The cadence throughout is great and feel like it would be a strong pop or dance tune.