Subway Sommelier

Subway Sommelier

metalfoot's picture
Artist Favorite



Liner Notes: 

I don't think @A.Eye of FAWM has a 50/90 account, but Andy M/DJ Kenneth A of A.Eye really deserves a partial credit for this one. Though I wrote the lyrics and melody all myself (ALL THE MAJ7 CHORDS!!!) he insisted I had to complete it. And, additionally, he's already guaranteed me a remix of it. I've been working on this off and on since July 31. Possibly the longest I've struggled with a solo-flight song.

So yeah. Casio digital piano in Casiochord mode and vocals. Thankful that my wife went elsewhere in the house-- I DI'ed the piano part or else you'd have heard her giggling like a maniac. I was singing the lyrics in my OUTRAGEOUS ACCENT, YOU SILLY KING-UH (gratuitous MPatQFHG reference) while recording the piano/jazz combo bits, and she was busting a gut laughing the whole time.

Backstory: the day I got married, my wife and I, after our wedding (noon) and reception (3pm) were a little hungry when we got to our hotel (around 8pm). Just around the corner from our honeymoon hotel was a little liquor store and a Subway. We ordered subs and bought a bottle of Gewurztraminer. It's become a bit of a lark to do subs with wine for us since. Hence the need for a Subway Sommelier.

(Paul Harvey voice)
And now you know... the REST of the story.
(end Paul Harvey voice)


Bonjour, hello, and a good day, eh?
I'm your Subway Sommelier
And I'm here to help your meal go well
I'll help you find the right wine
For your evening when you must dine
On Subway's unique taste and smell

A nice Gewurtztraminer
There could be nothing keener
For a chicken teriyaki sub

Or a nice full red merlot
It's always the way to go
When you order a tasty club

Yes, I'm your Subway Sommelier
I help pick the right wines today
You always get it made your way
And I'm here to work it out ok

The one that I'll be pickin'
When you go for roasted chicken
Is a simple rosé every day

Or if tuna's more your liking
There are few wines more striking
Than a nice fruity chardonnay

Yes, I'm your Subway Sommelier
I help pick the right wines today
You always get it made your way
And I'm here to work it out ok

Cold Cut, Italian, a Steak and Cheese
Roast Beef or Turkey, what may you please
Veggie, or Pizza, or Meatball too
I've got the right wine list for you

Yes, I'm your Subway Sommelier
I help pick the right wines today
You always get it made your way
And I'm here to work it out ok

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


This is fantastic! Love the jazzy vibe and fun accent. Food songs are good thing anyway, but you take it to a whole new level with the story. So entertaining and fun!

Chip Withrow's picture

Glad you kept at this one! Your accent kills me - I like the sly come-on attitude of it. Excellent lyrics, and those chords and piano voicings are right on for the cabaret/jazz club vibe.
I love gewurtztraminer - I bet it goes fine with a sandwich, too.

billwhite51's picture

one of my favorite menu songs. nice rhymes to go with the wines. outstanding delivery, both in tone and accent.

sbs2018's picture

Fabulous Friday song. Cross between Maurice Chevalier and Be Our Guest from Beauty and the Beast! Love this! Great story, too.

fresh spotless youth's picture

Tremendous! The concept and execution are right on. Somehow it feels silly and serious. I'd like to see you singing and dancing with top hat and cane in the video.

Kristi's picture

This is really a lot of fun! A jazzy sounding song and it's very entertaining. I like that first line introducing it all....friendly and inviting. So many details help to make him an expert and gracious host. Ha. Fun ending too. Well done!

standup's picture

Hilarious, love the accent. At first I expected the sommelier to be found in an underground mass transit location, but I see we’re doing wine pairings with foot long chicken teriyaki, even better. Fun tune.

amusia's picture

Haha, great idea for a song! The casiochord accompaniment is perfect. Love your accent as well!