This is my journaling with a tune song... and here is my explanatory rant:
I work nights at a hospital as a nurse. I only need to work 3 days a week (half on the weekends so my Husband can watch our little guy) which means that my 13month old only needs to go to daycare around 6 days a month. But it also means that I'm flipping my schedule around all of the time. I wake up with him at 6:30am, and try to rest when he rests... but then I'm up working from 11pm-7:30AM... then sleep while he's at daycare. So when we have a day filled with activity I can be more tired at work... but when we don't do as much he can get rather restless (and me too). After returning from maternity leave I've only had 4 days that I've had the day off of work and watching him... and since it's been wearing on me, my husband and I decided that I need 1 day a month to call my own. Today is that day, and here's the song that came from it.
Parenting is a learning process. I don't know about other parents, but I imagine that I'm not the only one that questions or feels guilty for one thing or the other. This song is about that guilt... it's also about persevering, and remembering to be yourself and to take care of yourself and do the things that make you happy with your child... because bringing them into that joy is the best thing for both of you. Doing what you love and sharing your gift is also the best thing for the world.
With Diapers and crying and giggles and smiles
We’re working together to get through all these trials
But I always wonder when the going gets rough
Though I’m trying my hardest, will it be enough?
Is it enough that I taught you “Hi” and “bye”,
Is it enough to show you there’s the sky.
Is it okay when we spend all day at home,
Or that I sometimes let you play with my phone?
Am I spoiling you when I sooth your cry,
Or did I wait too long and you don’t know why?
You know that doggie says “rough, rough, rough”
But is that enough?
I’m guilty for working, or for when I call in
Cause not being everywhere feels like a sin
I’m a nurse, mother, wife and all of that stuff
But I can’t help but wonder, am I enough.
Am I gonna enough for you today,
Am I right there to help you learn and play.
Did my job take me away from you,
Or does my work suffer because we went to the zoo?
Am I enough for the man I love so dear,
Is it okay that I’m not always here
I work, play, teach, there's no room for fluff
But am I enough.
It feels harder each day, but it’s easier too.
Parents believe it, and you can get through
So smile and laugh though things are still tough,
I have to believe that you are enough
You are enough when you try your very best,
Remember even parents need time to rest,
It’s enough to teach and help them grow,
And still be the one and only you we know.
Please never loose sight of who you are
It’s your joy that will help take them so far
Though the race is long, and hard, and tough
You are enough,
Yes you are enough
Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.