Whatever Happened to Cress?

Whatever Happened to Cress?

Johnny Cashpoint's picture



Liner Notes: 

I am in France so WARNING! THIS HAS NOT BEEN MASTERED in any way. I may come back to it later.

This is very silly with a telling truth at the heart of it.

Cafe sounds - Angouleme, France, July 2019.


When I was a kid
Supermarket shelves
Were stacked to the brim
With wealth of healthy cress
Punnets packed with crunch
Snatched up commonly for
Kids' packed school lunch
Throughout the 70s, yes!

Whatever happened to cress? x2

I know cress was tasteless
Characterless and faceless -
Good filler for my sandwiches
Overnight it vanishes?
Gary Glitter of the Garden
Wiped from history
What made this come to pass,
Branded herbaceous Kevin Spacey?

Whatever happened to cress? x2

When I moved to London
My cress supply went dry
That staple of my childhood
Had been stapled to my eye
The National Board of Cress
Really should address
Its low national profile
In the London sexy press, yes!

Whatever happened to cress?
(Less cress? depressed!)
Whatever happened to cress?
(it's garden cress, giving me a hard-on, yes)

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


billwhite51's picture

this iis the question of the day you have given us to ponder, i fear there is no answer, but thank you for raising the question. it must be what everyone in the cafe is taking about.

Fuzzy's picture

A mystery for the ages.
Maybe they'll set up an international inquiry at the UN?
Great earworm-worthy chorus there for sure.
Hilarious lyrics.
The Kevin Spacey comparison is especially funny.
Well done!

splittybooms's picture

Love the ambience of the cafe underneath; I'm a sucker for that kind of thing.
Catchy chorus.
I dig the bubbly arpreggio-ish music and the lofi sound of everything.
I had to look up cress to see what it was, as I thought it was maybe some sort of candy bar or cracker etc...nope, just a green thing. Then I realize "watercress" and feel like a dunce lol
Now the line "good filler for my sandwiches" makes more sense!
Oh and meant to add - these are really well written and arranged lyrics; some very agile lines in there.

sph's picture

Oh yes cress - whatever happened to my cress sheep made from Clay...
The 70s were a strange time

helen's picture

I do enjoy musings on very trivial questions, even moreso set to lofi electropop.