I want to let you go

I want to let you go

matthijs's picture

Tags: 

Lyrics: 

What a fool I was
To let you in
You got me in your arms
No, you won't let me win

I close my eyes
And come back to you
But deep inside
I always knew

'Cause honey I tried
To let you go
But you alwasy find a way
To pull me towards you
And honey I know
Your bitter embrace
But you always find a way
To make me let you stay

Your serpent eyes
Stare right through mine
Your sweet lies
Confince me that I'm fine

That I can't go
Without you by my side
You found a place
Where you calmly reside

'Cause honey I tried
To let you go
But you alwasy find a way
To pull me towards you
And honey I know
Your bitter embrace
But you always find a way
To make me let you stay

'Cause honey I tried
To let you go
But at least for now, I won't

I guess I won't



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Comments

ChariotBaldwin's picture

this is a much stronger lyric, feels more personal. the verses are stronger than the chorus at the moment,

remember, in songwriting, in the verses, you need to say something once. if you repeat it over in the verses and again in the chorus, the listener gets bored and says 'yeah, we get it, we heard you the first time'

only in the chorus can we repeat the same message (not by repeating the words, but by saying them again)

Look a little deeper into yourself on what you are really trying and wanting to say in the chorus.

I would change the word serpent to serpentine eyes, might be more poetic and grabby Smile

Nice job